funeral

My cousin's son's funeral was yesterday. It was so beautiful. It was very sad in the beginning. His coffin was so little. His favorite color is orange, so they had a white coffin with orange around the middle edges. My cousin did a great job. At one point near the end of the visitation she just leaned on the coffin and cried and cried. I can't imagine losing a child, especially in a house fire. What a tragic way to go. I think he passed away of smoke inhalation, he wasn't burned (I think). They hadn't looked at the body, but right before we left the visitation room and went into the chapel (it was a closed casket) the family asked to see little Austin and they went over and looked in. There were so many tears and it was heartbreaking to know that this was the last time my cousin would see her little boy in this life. But you know, after she looked at him and they closed the casket, she looked so peaceful. She looked stronger. I told her this and she said she DID feel peaceful. I was so proud of her. At the graveside they had two huge orange balloon bouquets. People took a balloon and they all released the balloons at once. I'm grateful to know that death is not the end. I'm grateful to have knowledge of the resurrection and eternal families. I'm grateful that my 22-month-old daughter cried in the middle of the night and I held her for two hours as we both slept on the rocking chair in her room. I'm grateful to have a husband whom I adore and three wonderful children that drive me crazy at times. I'm grateful for an overweight oddly shaped body to live my life in. The fat part I can do something about, the oddly shaped part is here to stay. I'm grateful that our sprinklers in our front yard magically started to work better last night. I'm grateful to be in the nursery with Dave. We were in the nursery together before we had kids, and it is fun to be in there together after we've had kids (Dave may disagree, but I think he'd rather be in nursery that EQ). I'm grateful that we have sufficient for our needs. I'm grateful to live in such a wonderful country. I'm grateful to live in Mapleton. I love it here. I fall in love with it again every time I drive around. I'm grateful for the love my kids show me every day even though I'm not deserving. I love that they are so forgiving. I'm grateful for friends. Those who live close, those who live far, those who I see often, and those I see not so often. New friends, old friends, and potential friends. I'm grateful to be me. I need a lot of fixing, but I'm working on it (sometimes).